Last Laugh

This woman came to me in much the same way she does in the song, “through the back screen door.” I can still remember walking into my music room and it was almost as if she followed me in there… knocking on the back door of my brain. She is a rebel, and she brings change to the lives she touches.

The woman in this song is the opposite of my natural state. She’s confident, makes herself at home wherever she’s at, and challenges the status quo.

“She looks you in the eye/asks you the reason why/you still do the things you do?
You are so tongue-tied/somehow you can’t deny/this girl’s got you unglued….”

This song is off of the Motorcycle Man album. My Moonstruck by Mars partner, Dave Cocalis, and I have also put together a fun acoustic version we enjoy performing live. Hope you enjoy listening.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2019

Night Is Gone

Spring can be deceiving. Despite the warmer temperatures, sunnier days, and blooming flowers, some of us may find ourselves in a bit of a funk. I asked my husband the other day, “Do you think I’m fighting the blues because of the time of the year?” “Yep,” he replied. We’ve been married long enough for him to know the ebbs and flows of my emotional calendar pretty well. Even though he may see and remember the pattern, I find myself surprised by it every year. In my head I’m thinking, it’s so beautiful out, why am I so unmotivated? Well, it turns out, I’m not the only one. April has the highest number of suicides for any month, which is why I decided to share my song “Night Is Gone” in April.

I wrote “Night Is Gone” during a dark season in my life. I’d been facing some chronic health issues that directly impacted my sleep. After months of poor sleep and no answers from the doctors as to the cause of my symptoms, I increasingly felt overwhelmed and hopeless. In my lower moments I was tempted to think God had either abandoned me or worse, was punishing me for something by giving me this ailment. Unfortunately, at times, the well-intentioned advice of friends and family only reinforced my sense of loneliness as they were quick to offer possible solutions for something that they did not fully understand. I hope “Night Is Gone” will encourage those of you currently in dark seasons to know that others have traveled the landscape, and as isolating as it may seem, you are not alone.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2019

Clay Birds

The song I posted today is for dreamers. Here’s the back story: it was 5th grade art class and we were doing a project in clay. I had decided to make an eagle, but not just any eagle. I wanted to create an eagle with its wings stretched out, preparing for flight. For weeks I worked diligently on my eagle. But I kept facing the same obstacle: I couldn’t get my eagle’s wings to stay up in the air. They kept flopping down. The final week of the project, the art teacher told me I wouldn’t be able to keep my eagle’s wings suspended unless I had some underwire to hold them in place, and at that point it was too late to pursue that option. So I smashed my bird down and made a little mouse with a baseball cap. I can still picture that mouse. He was quite cute. But he wasn’t close to the magnificent creature I had initially envisioned.

My song “Clay Birds” is about living in the space between a dream and that point on the map that says, “You are here.” Sometimes the distance between where I am currently and where I want to be is so immense I just want to give up. But usually after a good night of sleep, a strong cup of coffee, and a little sunshine :-), I remember, no, I love this, and I’m going to keep going after it.

My song “Clay Birds” is for dreamers. I hope it encourages people to move from the “here” to that wonderful place they dream of being.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2019

Watching Stars

When my son Jeremiah was an infant, if he was acting a little fussy in the evenings, I would take him outside for walks along our cul-de-sac to quiet him. We would look at the stars together, and I would tell him how pretty they were as he hung out with me in his snuggly.

This memory inspired “Watching Stars,” a song about watching the stars in the sky as well as the stars/role models around us. It’s also about believing in, hoping for, and pursuing our dreams. Jeremiah recently signed a professional soccer contract with the Chicago Fire. One of his dreams has been realized, the opportunity to play for a Major League Soccer team. But, as with all things, when you start “living the dream,” the dream brings a whole set of new challenges.

So as Jeremiah embarks on this new venture, I hope this song can continue to encourage him as well as others of you hoping for things you can’t yet see.

What will you see?
Can you believe?
Bright morning star
Knows who you are

Leave a comment

Filed under 2019

Love Ya Child

Having just sent Isaac (my oldest son) off to Spain yesterday for a five-month stint in an immersive Spanish language program, I thought it would be fun to post the song I wrote the day he left for college: Love Ya Child.

Here’s just a bit of the back story. I remember being dry-eyed and surprisingly composed as he and his father pulled out of the driveway six years ago and headed to the airport. In fact, they both remarked later they were surprised I didn’t cry. I remember taking the dog for a walk and thinking about how well prepared we all seemed to be for this next transition. After all, it was clear he was ready for more independence, and we were ready to give it to him.

Nonetheless, before he left for college Isaac had mentioned having anxiety about meeting new people. I remember texting him a word of encouragement: “Ever since the sandbox, you’ve known what to say” along with other words to buoy his spirits. I had always been struck by Isaac’s ability to make friends, an ability that reached all the way back to his earliest pre-school friendships, many of which were made literally while playing in the sandbox. And then I thought, that just might make a good line for a song. So I went home and wrote:

“Ever since the sandbox, you’ve known what to say / That’s why I don’t worry about you today”

And then the tears came.

Apparently, despite how emotionally prepared I had thought I was for his departure, the minute I started singing a melody to that opening line, I started sobbing. So much for being emotionally strong.

And now he’s off again. Here’s a song for you Isaac. Make your mark on the world and while you’re at it, learn lots of Spanish!!!

Leave a comment

Filed under 2019