Spring can be deceiving. Despite the warmer temperatures, sunnier days, and blooming flowers, some of us may find ourselves in a bit of a funk. I asked my husband the other day, “Do you think I’m fighting the blues because of the time of the year?” “Yep,” he replied. We’ve been married long enough for him to know the ebbs and flows of my emotional calendar pretty well. Even though he may see and remember the pattern, I find myself surprised by it every year. In my head I’m thinking, it’s so beautiful out, why am I so unmotivated? Well, it turns out, I’m not the only one. April has the highest number of suicides for any month, which is why I decided to share my song “Night Is Gone” in April.
I wrote “Night Is Gone” during a dark season in my life. I’d been facing some chronic health issues that directly impacted my sleep. After months of poor sleep and no answers from the doctors as to the cause of my symptoms, I increasingly felt overwhelmed and hopeless. In my lower moments I was tempted to think God had either abandoned me or worse, was punishing me for something by giving me this ailment. Unfortunately, at times, the well-intentioned advice of friends and family only reinforced my sense of loneliness as they were quick to offer possible solutions for something that they did not fully understand. I hope “Night Is Gone” will encourage those of you currently in dark seasons to know that others have traveled the landscape, and as isolating as it may seem, you are not alone.
Cathy Gutjahr 